Toward the end of my own wedding, I walked up to a very good friend of mine & his wife to chat. Its worth mentioning that they are just a bit older than me, a different generation, which is really worth pointing out, as the mentality is different. I had seen them off and on all night and they always had giant smiles on their faces and truly looked to be having the time of their lives. Naturally this made me happy to see!
When I walked up to them, I noted how happy they looked and that they really seemed to be enjoying themselves. They both enthusiastically confirmed that we threw one hell of a wedding (thank you very much!) and that they were indeed enjoying themselves. Now at this point of the post, you’re asking yourself how is this any different from what is likely (hopefully!) a normal encounter with most guests? It’s what came after that has really & truly stuck with me. After letting me know how fun of a night they were having, my friend turns to me and said: “And anyway, isn’t that the job of a wedding guest?” Now he had posed it as a rhetorical question, but I literally paused, thought for a second, and finally asked him how he meant. He explained how a couple goes through the often stressful journey of putting all the effort into planning a wedding and at the end of the day, all they want is to see their friends & family truly enjoying themselves as a result of all the hard work that they did to make it happen. It’s a reward that might be not as obvious, but its there all the same.
That brief conversation has very much stuck with me since my wedding & I have chewed on it ever since. In principle, its brilliant and though I didn’t really consider it leading up to our own wedding, seeing our guests so happy, dancing their faces off, and looking back through photographs of that joy & emotion, it is a payoff I never even realized I needed, and am so incredibly thankful for. Seeing our guests expressing such fun truly does validate all the hard work and effort that we put into making our wedding special, stressing over food/beverages choices, vetting bands, organizing the flow of events, and so much more. To know it paid off, is icing on the cake I didn’t even realize I was hungry for.
Now time for a big honesty moment guys…. I have completely failed at this myself in the past, as a guest. I get an F. Not that I made someone else’s wedding about me (God I hope!) but I haven’t put on my wedding face, danced my tush off always, and made damn sure the couple knew how amazing of a wedding they were throwing. Sure I told them in passing it was lovely and that yes I was having a good time, but eh, I certainly wasn’t bringing it home, you know? I’ve yawned when I got tired, if I wasn’t feeling the music, I didn’t dance, I haven’t loved the food before, or thought little of the decor. I know I might sound like a snob, but we are being honest here, right? Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I walked up to the bride and started in on things, but I certainly didn’t have my best guest foot forward you know?
And that really is it isn’t it? In essence, the role, the responsibility of being a wedding guest. Whether you realize it or not, and now hopefully you truly do, as a wedding guest, it is for you to show the couple how wonderful of a time you’re having and how much you appreciate being invited. To get out there and dance, laugh it up, have a wonderful time and let it show. It wasn’t a comment meant to be anything more than a statement of being, but for me, it felt like a revelation. I have my first wedding of the year this coming Saturday and it is as if I have a renewed zest in my role as a wedding guest! I am completely ready to put on my best guest face, have a FAB time, making damn sure to show the bride & groom know how much I appreciate all the hard work they have done to put on such a wonderful event. My job this Saturday is to let it show!
I am really curious to hear what you guys think? Do you agree with this new mantra for the wedding guest? Have you had a less than stellar guest moment that you’d like to share? Let me know as I would really love to hear what everyone’s take on this is!